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things i learned through my life coach that might help you, too...

 

Things I Learned Through My Life Coach That Might Help You, Too!

A couple weeks ago, I talked in detail about why I got a Life Coach. Today, I wanted to share some nuggets of information from some of the notes I've taken from conversations we've had or books I've read that could help you, too, in some way. These are pulled from various moments over the last several months. But I love that on their own (without the context of why we discussed them), they still make so much sense....

1. Any type of growth takes time and faith and practice. Growth hurts just like when you're exercising, and you get sore from using new muscles. Sometimes it's uncomfortable to grow and change and become the real you. 

2. Even though growth can hurt, you shouldn't stop it from happening. If you were to try and help a butterfly transform, you might do more damage then good. It needs to transform on its own to become what it can truly be.

3. Sometimes, if you prevent an experience from happening to someone else (because you are worried you'll hurt their feelings or they may react poorly), you’re holding them back from learning a lesson on their own to experience those emotions. They needs those lessons for their own personal growth.

4. Making an agreement with someone is much stronger than an placing an expectation upon them. This holds true for partners in marriage, employees, co-workers, etc. Others love to keep agreements that they can co-author with you. Then if something you're hoping for isn't realistic for the other person, you’ll find out in advance why something won’t occur the way you want it to.

5. The owner mindset is taking whatever life gives me and welcoming it in. Owning it and deciding what I want to learn and create from it.

The victim mindset sees circumstance as all powerful. And often those circumstances look negative and emotionally overwhelming.

The truth is we human beings have an endless, innate capacity for optimism and creativity already built-in that we can choose to tap into anytime we want.

6. We have to remember that the goal of life is not to be busy, it is to be successful. Often, it is when we let go of our busyness that vision returns, inspiration appears, and a new level of true success is possible.

7. Success is about being original and being collaborative. Success is about connecting with others and finding your team. Even the most original thinkers need to have backing and support for their visions and ideas.

{Photo by Lily Glass.}

happy friday + why i got a life coach...

why i have a life coach... / via Oh Joy!

At the end of last year, I started questioning myself and my work and felt lost. Those feeling and events led me to working with a life coach which I wanted to share a bit more about with you today. I've talked a few times on Instagram Stories about working with one and originally planned to post all the things I've learned from working with mine. But I realized that so many of you have questions about it in general...Why did I get one? How do you find one? What's the difference between a life coach and a therapist? So today, I'm focusing first on all your questions about it...

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BIG NEWS! We're building a house!

BIG NEWS: Oh Joy! Builds A House!

I can't believe this is actually happening, but I am excited to FINALLY tell you that...we are building a HOUSE! Are we crazy for doing this? Yes! Is this process going to give me 267 ulcers and a head of grey hair? Probably. Is it going to be the project of a lifetime? Heck, yes! Here's how it all began...

We have been living in the same rental since we moved to Los Angeles 8 years ago (before kids, before my husband started his current job, before Oh Joy grew to being more than just me). We only had a few days to find an apartment when we decided to move to LA in 2010 and rented the top floor of a little duplex (with a great little balcony and view of the city) thinking we would eventually move into a real house with a backyard once we had kids. But Bob and I were both building our careers, and we had a really great deal on our rental so we took the time to save money for a house. We had no real rush to buy anything and no desire take on all the responsibilities that come with home ownership. Our place felt just fine with one child. However, once we got pregnant with Coco in 2014, we felt ready to make the leap and do what grown-ups think they should do...buy a house with more space for their growing family.

Four years ago, I wrote this post how we were looking to buy our first house in Los Angeles and how not easy the process was. Los Angeles isn't a cheap place to live, and the prices of homes here are pretty insane. We spent a good year looking while I was pregnant with Coco as that balcony with a great view didn't seem as amazing anymore when all I wanted was a backyard for my kids to run around and play in. As I had mentioned in that blog post, our first house offer got outbid by someone who had ALL CASH (how do you compete with that?). Then, we decided to up our budget a little bit and found another house we liked even more...thinking, "THIS is why that other house didn't work out. We were meant to get this one!" We put an offer on that 2nd house, only to get outbid WAAAAY over our budget. We started looking at fixer uppers that would be in a comfortable budget, but then we'd still need to spend a ton of money on renovations after the fact to make them livable. Feeling deflated, we kept looking and realized to get the moderate-sized house with a flat yard in the neighborhoods we wanted, we would need to increase our budget more than we could afford. No one wants to be house poor, so we were ready to stop the hunt and keep saving so that we could come back with a bigger down payment in another year or two.

THEN, during one of our drives around the neighborhood looking for open houses, we ran into a friend who had just finished building their house. They invited us in to see it, and we were floored. The value of their house when finished was double what it cost them to build it. The thoughts running through our minds as we talked to them were...

"Yes, of course this house is amazing because it's brand new and custom-designed."

"It's always been my dream to build a house!"

"We could never afford to do that now."

"Wait, what? It costs you HALF the price to build a house in Los Angeles then to buy one?"

Our friends, Cleo and McShane from Project M+, who happened to have also designed their own home, set the path for convincing us that if we had the patience, we should build a house instead of buying one. At the same time, a childhood friend of mine, Melissa, had just moved to Los Angeles. She was an architect as well and told me how she was about to begin designing and building her own family's house, too. And I was like..."Wait, what is happening here? How are these people who are still building their careers, like us, able to do this?" Yes, they were both architects and knew what they were doing. But, it turns out that in Los Angeles (unlike most of the country), the real estate prices here are so ridiculously high that it actually cheaper to build a house from scratch then to buy one. Who knew? Now, that does NOT mean it's quicker to build a house because if that was the case, this post would have been posted a lot sooner than today.

So, that was 2014...how it took until now for me to tell you this story and announce that we are actually doing this is....to be continued. We started construction on the house about six months ago, and it will take another year or so until it's done. I'm excited to share details about this ENTIRE process from start to finish and share snippets with you in real time as we go. I'm also so excited that we will be partnering with Architectural Digest's Clever to tell the story on their channels as well over the next year to completion. We'll be providing additional tips and takeaways over there so you'll get a lot of great information. I have learned so much, and it's really so fascinating (both the fun and not-so-fun parts about it). Here's a little peek!

If there is anything in particular you want me to share, please (please!) leave a comment below. Do you want to see photographed posts or video posts? Do you want to see things in a Pinterest board, Instagram, Instagram Stories...all of it? Do tell! This project has been my second job for the last couple years, and I can't wait to tell you everything I've learned. 

BIG NEWS: Oh Joy! Builds A House!

Stay tuned for Part 2 where I will talk about how we found land to build on, and how went about buying it!

{Photos by Lily Glass and video by Jenner Brown 

happy friday + when siblings don't get along...

Oh Joy Shop Pillows

One of the most common questions/comments I get on Instagram stories is..."Your kids seem to get along so well! They don't seem to ever fight with each other!" Umm....ha. That is not true AT ALL. They are just like any other set of siblings and do sometimes argue and don't get along. Some days are better than others.

Heather Turgeon and Julie Wright (who wrote my favorite sleep book, The Happy Sleeper) just came out with a parenting book called Now Say This. When I received an advance copy back in December, it came at a time when my kids were starting to play so well together, but also arguing more then ever. Not only did I learn some other amazing parenting techniques from their book that I use everyday with each of my kids, their book also helped me figure out what to do when sibling rivalry does occur. Since the sibling aspect is one area I think a lot of parents struggle with, I asked them to share some tips for us! Take a look at some common questions they often get asked, and I hope this helps some of you parents out there, too...

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let's discuss: dinner for one...

Oh Joy Flower

Last month, I took a quick 36-hour work trip to New York. I had a packed schedule and didn't make any plans to see friends because I didn't know how my days would go and how tired I would be after my day-long meetings. So, one night I needed to eat and went to a nice restaurant for dinner...by myself. I used to dread eating by myself in public and would opt to just stay home instead. I worried people would think I was on a blind date that never showed. Or that I wouldn't know what to do with myself with no one to talk to. But after 39 years on this planet, I just didn't care anymore. I had a lovely dinner out by myself. I people watched...I thought about life. It gave me a chance to really savor the food and know that I didn't have to stay in my hotel room just because I didn't have any social plans with others. And it felt great.

Do you guys go out to dinner by yourself? Would you?

Oh, and PS. Have a great long weekend! We'll see you back here on Tuesday!

{Photo by Lily Glass}

this is 39!

Oh Joy by Morgan Pansing

OMG. I am 39 today! I'm not writing this post just so you'll wish me a Happy Birthday (although I am okay with that, too). But I am writing because I'm sitting here thinking...holy crap, I have one more year to go before 40. My 30's have been the decade that really cemented who I have become as a person and who I want to be in the future. I took my business to the next level, became a mother, and I've become much more confident of myself and less worried about what other people think (my 20's were filled with WAY too much of that!). I've done so much in this past decade, and I have a bunch more things I want to do before I finish it out. While this could become a super long post, I'll keep it short and sweet and just tell you that I really do appreciate those of you who have been following this site for a while. Loyalty is everything to me, and for you to still tune in and care what we have to say and what we're creating over here really does mean so much.

Anyway, without spilling the beans too much...I have some exciting personal projects in the works that I can't wait to share with you. They are really going to be a great way to round out my 30's this upcoming year...and I can't wait to take you along for the ride!

Have a great weekend, all...

{Photo by Morgan Pansing.}

let's discuss: what do your kid's friends call you?

Oh Joy!

The other day, I picked up one of my kids from a playdate, and the other mom asked me, "What would you like my daughter to call you?" I had never had anyone ask me that question before. As a kid, I always called friends of my parents by their last name (Mr. or Mrs. or Miss) and would never call them by their first names even if they asked me to. Now that my kids are getting older, it made me think about my name to their friends. Mrs. Cho sounds way formal (or like they are speaking to my mother-in-law) yet Joy feels so casual (why should they call me by my first name when my kids don't even do that?). I am stumped. What do you guys do with your friends kids or what did you call your parents friends when you were younger?

{Photo by Casey Brodley for Oh Joy}

Oh Joy! x Erin Condren is HERE...

Oh Joy! x Erin Condren Planners are HERE!

I shared a sneak peek with you all last week on Instagram, and today I am so excited to announce that the wait is over...our newest collaboration with the queen of planners, Erin Condren, is here...

Oh Joy! x Erin Condren Planners are HERE!

We designed FOUR colorful Oh Joy! covers for their popular Lifeplanners™️: Floral Festival (a brand new, exclusive design!), Wandering Waves, Bright Blooms, and Dancing Dots. Each design comes in multiple color-ways, and the covers are interchangeable so you can switch things up depending on your mood. Each one is as bright and whimsical and fun as the last, meant to inspire you to get organized in style no matter what the day holds!

Oh Joy! x Erin Condren Planners are HERE!

Oh Joy! x Erin Condren Planners are HERE!

When seeking collaborations, I aim to work with companies who create products that speak to my life as an on-the-go working mom. In addition to whatever to-do’s I have on my personal work calendar, I need to coordinate my family’s plans, events, appointments, and play dates, which can be stressful. Erin Condren’s Lifeplanners™️ are THE go-to planner when it comes to keeping life organized. They help me focus on enjoying life and not stressing about forgetting any of the little details.

Oh Joy! x Erin Condren Planners are HERE!

Oh Joy! x Erin Condren Planners are HERE!

You can also find sticker sheets for adding to your calendar that all coordinate with our four different covers. Find them all now exclusively online at Erin Condren!

{Photos by Lily Glass, styling by Julia Wester, styling assistance by Jess Hong.}

happy friday + work in progress...

Oh Joy! Self Help Book List

The other day, I was reading one of the books above (a parenting book), and Ruby asked me what I was reading. I told her, "Well, I am reading this book about how to be a parent." She responded, "You already are one, why do you need to read about it?" And I replied, "Well, this job is really hard and sometimes I have no idea what I am doing!" Then, she shrugged her shoulders and went back to playing.

Currently, I'm in a bit of a discovery phase of my life. I'm trying to grow in areas that I think I could use help in, and also be open to changes knowing that there is so much more to come that I don't even know about yet. I understand that was the most vague sentence ever, but all I mean is that I am very aware of the work in progress that I am as a person, a parent, a friend, a leader, a mentor...so I am reading more than usual right now and wanted to share those reads with you if you're interested!

The Yes Brain: How to Cultivate Courage, Curiosity, and Resilience in Your Child — I just started reading this book. The sub-title speaks to what it's about but what I am loving so far is that what they are teaching to you as a parent can also be applied to your own life in addition to your child's life. Curiosity, courage, and resilience are qualities we all need!

Now Say This: The Right Words to Solve Every Parenting Dilemma — I had the opportunity to read an advanced copy of this over the holiday break, and it came at the perfect time where I could really focus on putting these tips into practice while home with my kids during the long break. There are some key steps from this book that I use everyday when dealing with meltdowns and disagreements. It's also helped to retrain the way I respond to my kids during their most upset moments. I am getting ready to read it again because I need a refresher with every stage of parenting!

Authentic Success: Essential Lessons and Practices from the World's Leading Coaching Program on Success Intelligence — This book is the only non-parenting book I am reading right now because my life coach (yes, I started working with a life coach!) has me reading it. It has raised a lot of questions for me about what success really is and my vision of success. I would highly recommend it for anyone who is very goal oriented and always looking for what's next on the bucket list.

{Amazing photo above shot by my iPhone ;P}

happy friday + questions for growing a team?

Oh Joy! Growing a Team

Happy Friday! I am working on some new projects, and would love your input! For a while, I have been wanting to teach an online class for small business owners about "How to Grow a Team". I never learned how to be a boss in any formal way and have figured it all out as I go. I wish I had more direction when I was building my company and adding employees on what made sense, how to hire people, and other aspects of growth that there was no resource for. As I have grown my team over the last 13 years (from just me to six full-time employees), I have learned a lot about when it's time to grow, how to find good people (and how to keep them), how to run a company that your employees enjoy working at, and so much more.

In a similar way that Creative, Inc. and Blog, Inc. gave you all my tips from everything I've learned in freelancing and blogging, I want to do that again to help other small creative business owners understand how to go about it. So...if you are a small creative business owner or want to be one some day, I would love to hear from you in the comments below!

1. What you would want me to cover and what specific questions do you have about growing a team? That will help me best customize this class for your needs!

2. If you are a small business owner and located in Los Angeles and would be interested in coming to an in-person version of this class before the online version goes up, also let me know what type business you have, what your concerns/questions are, and your email. That way, we can contact you if the opportunity arises. 

Thanks in advance for your input! Happy weekend!