Oh JoyOh Joy

why i need to live in the sunshine...


You guys...the saddest thing happened during my first week in France. Three days into the trip, Bob and I were about to go to bed, and I started bawling—terrible, awful, sad tears. I honestly felt depressed and not happy to be in one of the most beautiful cities in the world. I wondered how I could be so ungrateful to have the chance to travel with my family like this and not enjoy every moment of it. And then I realized...

...the seasonal affective disorder I had while living on the East Coast was back. It was raining and gloomy in France during our first week there, and my body and my brain needed sunshine. Although I'm from the East Coast and lived with the change in seasons most of my life, a part of me changed forever once we moved to Southern California four years ago. I no longer dreaded winter. I no longer became a meaner version of myself every year November to April. I feel like I really came into my true self thanks to all the sunshine. It's amazing how your brain just knows.

Anyway, I'm sharing this because I don't have a kind of depression that is treated with drugs, but the less-talked-about kind that is treated with sunshine. The last year I lived in Philly, I used this HappyLite in the winter, and it worked wonders. Not everyone can have sunshine year-round, so sometimes you just have to bring the sunshine to you. Later that week in France, the weather perked up, the sun peaked out from the clouds, and I slowly began to feel like myself again. I really enjoyed the last half of our trip and got to see how beautiful our surroundings really were.