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How to Stay Married (and Keep Your Sanity) While Building a House!

Oh Joy / How to Stay Married While Building a House!

When people find out that we're building a house, they always joke, "So, how's your marriage going?" Oftentimes, people say that when you do a large renovation or home project together, it takes a real toll on your relationship. Honestly, the process of building a house has made me the most stressed than I have probably ever been in my entire adult life...yet my marriage has never been better. I know, how annoying that I can say that, right? In contrast to how giant projects like these can be hard on a relationship, I think it's actually this process that has made my husband, Bob, and I communicate even more than we normally do and work through things because we HAVE TO for the sake of meeting deadlines. The urgency to communicate about our future kitchen's layout or where our outlets need to go has also led to more communication between us in general. So, today I am sharing our tips for How to Stay Married (and Keep Your Sanity) While Building a House (or during a major home project)...

1. Decide jointly upfront what's most important to you. Are you most concerned with form and style, function, budget, timeline? At some point, any one (or all) of those things will be called into question by you or someone who is part of the construction process with you. That's when you need to be firm and united on what can budge on or what can't.

2. Assign who will interact with vendors. You will make everyone's life easier (yours, your contractor, your architect, the bank, and everyone involved) if you designate one point person for each of them. If both you and your partner have the ability and time to be very active in the project, you can assign different teams to each one of you. But for us, it made sense for me to be the primary contact for everyone because I'm just better at quickly communicating, I have a more flexible work schedule, and because I spend more time in front of a computer than my husband does.

3. Put one person in charge of most of the decision-making. With a home build, there are a million decisions to make...from large ones like deciding the general layout of your house to tiny ones like what color knobs your kitchen drawers will have. Both of us were heavily involved in the overall look and functionality of our house. We had weekly meetings with our architects while in the initial design phase. But now that we're in the construction phase which has a lot of smaller changes and decisions that need to be made weekly, we jointly decided that I would be in charge of those. I will make the decision about most things, and if there is something I know my husband will have a strong opinion on, I'll wait for him to weigh in before answering.

4. Have regularly scheduled meetings about the project. Our architect team had weekly meetings with us during the phase when we were actively designing our house. Now, that we are in construction phase, we have a weekly meeting with both our contractor and architects to review progress and on-going updates. Those standing weekly meetings get built into our schedule and we try to work everything else around them. The meetings have helped SO much in keeping us up to date. And if one of us can't make it due to work conflict, then the other one still goes to represent us both. If your construction team does not have these regular meetings planned for you, get into a habit of doing that yourself, either weekly or every two weeks so you are both caught up on where everything is and there are no surprises. 

5. Be okay with compromise. I love bell-shaped brass lights that unfortunately make an annoying noise every time they get touched, but Bob HATES them because he somehow finds a way to bump into them no matter where they are. So as I am looking at light for our bedroom, I knew I had to consider both functional and beautiful options that we could both agree on. And although I imagined our yard filled with wildly colorful flowers, Bob also is allergic to pollen so we are designing our landscaping with low pollen or no pollen plants that would keep him from sneezing every day.

Check out my post on Architectural Digest's Clever where I'm asking tips from other married couples who have built a house together, too! And, next month, I'll be back with a construction update!

Have a great weekend!

a festive stocking diy...

A Festive Stocking DIY... / via Oh Joy!

We're decking the halls because December is just TWO days away! To bring you an extra fun holiday DIY this year, we've partnered with Kid Made Modern to show you how to decorate your very own stocking using their colorful and kid-friendly craft supplies. It's perfect for you to make for (or with) your kids! Here's how...

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a fall-inspired home office...

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Every season, it's fun to create a refresh on our surroundings...whether in small ways with a new piece of artwork or in bigger ways...like finally getting that new desk you've been needing! Today, we're giving you some inspiration with a fall-inspired home office! The best part is, with a desk-on-wheels, you can switch your position in the room when you need a change of scenery. Take a look...

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Pattern Adventures: Oh Joy Wears Color-Blocked Outfits!

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Before we move into December, we have one last pattern adventures for this month! November's theme is color-blocking, so today, I'm showing you how to incorporate it into your wardrobe! Some are super simple, and some are sparkly and bright. Take a look...

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Oh Joy Gift Guide: Gifts for Kids!

2018_Oh-Joy_Kids-Gift-Guide_112018There are so many amazing gifts for kids out there these days, this one was really hard to narrow down. But here's a selection of some of my favorite from fun to crafty to useful!

1. Whistle & Flute graphic tees (from $24) are also a favorite to throw on for an easy and cute outfit, 2. My kids have been obsessed with this Petit Collage Ice Cream Social Game and love playing it together ($16 - Get 15% off with code: OHJOY), 3. Q&A a Day for Kids which is my 7 year old's new favorite thing to fill out every morning while I'm making breakfast ($11), 4. Kid Made Modern's Arts and Crafts Library ($39) provides a little bit of everything for stocking your kids' craft table and creating endless projects, 5. For parents who want to instill Feminism in their kids, My First Book of Feminism for Boys ($8) makes for an easy and empowering read, 6. Made for Me ($13) focuses on the love of a Father and child also makes a great gift for a Dad from his kids, 7. Of Unusual Kind makes a diverse range of paper dolls (from $16), 8. I Love Plum's Tutu ($55) are colorful and whimsical for the little dancers in your family, 9. Coloring Without Borders ($24) offers a bi-lingual coloring book in which 100% of the profits Families Belong Together, 10. Read Your Story (from $30) allows you to customize books with your kid's faces on them and makes a super fun and personal gift, 11. Small Birds ($55) for a high-quality and super cozy sneaker for your little one (esp. nice for those who don't like to wear socks!).

Oh Joy! Black Friday deals...

Oh Joy! x Erin Condren Black Friday Deals...

It's Black Friday, and we've got A LOT of deals for you! We're celebrating today with FREE GROUND SHIPPING over in the Oh Joy! Shop, but we also wanted to make sure that you knew about all the deals our partners are having today! So take a look below and shop away... 

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a mini cone-a-copia place setting...

How to Make a Mini Cone-a-Copia Place Setting / Oh Joy!

One of our favorite Thanksgiving projects off all time is our Thanksgiving Cone-a-Copia made from...ice cream cones! For a last-minute Thanksgiving idea for you, we have a TINY twist on an Oh Joy classic...a MINI Cone-a-Copia! This one can be made for individual place settings and make a sweet detail for guests. Here's how...

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a cozy fall seating area...

A Cozy Fall Seating Area... / via Oh Joy!

It's been cooling down here in Los Angeles, and it's finally beginning to feel like fall! So today, we're showing you how to create a place to cozy up at home and relax with a warm, inviting setting area inspired by rich fall colors. Take a look...

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Oh Joy! Team Gift Guide: $50 and under

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Happy Monday! We're back today with our second holiday gift guide of the season! Last week we shared the Oh Joy! team picks under $25, and this time we're sharing our favorites in the $25 to $50 range. These are great gifts for family, friends, and co-workers who you want to spend a little more on. These gifts are thoughtful, but won't break your budget!

01. Poketo Themis Prism Mobile ($49.50) from Julia, 02. bkr Glass Water Bottle ($48) from Kim, 03. Sugar & Cloth Melamine Condiment Cup set ($25) from Jess, 04. Shashi Golden Sunrise Beaded Bracelet ($44) + Shashi Color Lovers Beaded Bracelet ($42) from Courtney + Traci, 05. Free People Skin Gym Rose Quartz Facial Roller ($28) from Nicole, 06. Ban.do Initial Stud Earrings ($25) from Kim, 07. Herbivore Botanical ROSE QUARTZ Illuminating Body Oil ($48) from Traci, 08. Little Market Personalized Candle ($30) from Courtney, 9. Society6 This Is A Good Day To Have A Good Day Framed Art Print ($50) from Julia, 10. Xenia Taler Marina Dessert Plate - Set of Four ($42) from Joy + Jess, 11. Oh Joy! for CALPAK Power Luggage Tag ($32) from Joy + Nicole.

NEW in the oh joy shop!

NEW in the Oh Joy! Shop...

Happy Friday! We just added A LOT of new, bright things to the Oh Joy! shop that I want to show you. We introduced a HOLIDAY section, which I'm super excited about, new jewelry, and really cute travel kits. Take a look...

NEW in the Oh Joy! Shop...

NEW in the Oh Joy! Shop...

Holiday — Decorating the tree is one of my favorite things to do EVER, so I’m extra excited that we have holiday ornaments in the shop! They're all whimsical, colorful, and bright. Each one has a personality of their own and will bring pure magic to your holidays. We also have a very special Sparkling Palm Tree ornament to benefit those in devastation from the California wildfires.

NEW in the Oh Joy! Shop...

NEW in the Oh Joy! Shop...

Travel — How cute are these mini emergency kits!? They make great gifts, stocking stuffers, and are the perfect travel companion for the holidays.

NEW in the Oh Joy! Shop...

NEW in the Oh Joy! Shop...

Jewelry — We added FIVE new bracelets to the shop! Whether you're looking for something colorful or a more simple and dainty piece, we've got you covered. They make great gifts, but we won't tell if you get one for yourself ;) 

Have a great weekend!

{Photos by Lily Glass, styling by Julia Wester, styling assistance by Jess Hong.